When you said “I do” during the pandemic, you may have pictured a future filled with resilience, togetherness, and hope, despite the uncertainty surrounding the world. But as the years have passed, many couples who married during this time have found that their relationships face unique challenges that continue to shape their daily lives.
Maybe one of you lost a job in 2020 or shortly after, and while you may be back on track now, you still have debt lingering from that period. You may be balancing student loans, credit card debt, and the rising cost of living in California. Maybe your arguments about money are no longer occasional – they’re a regular part of your life. You might even be questioning whether you and your spouse are still aligned in your financial goals.
If you had children during or after the pandemic, your marriage may feel even more complicated now. Perhaps you expected to share parenting and household duties equally, but over time, those responsibilities have fallen more heavily on one of you. Or maybe one or both of you has been called back into the office as the world has opened back up. Remote work blurred the lines between “home” and “work,” and those patterns can be hard to reset.
From financial pressures and shifting family roles to emotional strain and legal questions, these issues can significantly affect your marriage, your stability, and your future. This is where legal guidance becomes crucial. Understanding your rights, your financial protections, and your potential next steps can make all the difference. By exploring your options now, you can protect your future – whether that means working towards resolution within your marriage or considering what separation or divorce might mean for you in California.
What Is Unique About Pandemic Marriages in California?
If you married during the pandemic, your relationship began in circumstances unlike any other. Traditional wedding celebrations were scaled down or postponed, and instead of a season of normal newlywed life, you may have gone straight into lockdown together. In many ways, the pandemic acted as an accelerator – you and your spouse were together around the clock, navigating job changes, health concerns, and family responsibilities from day one of marriage.
In California, this was especially unique. With high living costs and extended lockdowns in big cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco, couples often moved in together or combined finances sooner than expected. Many of these choices were practical at the time, but created long-term implications. Decisions about leases, mortgages, or even buying property together during those uncertain years are now part of your legal and financial reality.
If you’re reflecting on these early choices, you may realize that what once felt like necessary compromises have since created lasting challenges. That doesn’t mean you made mistakes – it means you entered marriage during extraordinary circumstances. Recognizing this is the first step in understanding your current situation and deciding how to move forward.
Emotionally and mentally, you may also feel the invisible weight of the pandemic years into your relationship. The isolation, uncertainty, and constant adaptation took a toll on many couples across California and the world. Maybe your spouse copes with stress differently than you do, and that difference may have created distance between you. The once-strong connection you relied on might feel fragile, and instead of turning towards each other for support, you may find yourselves withdrawing or arguing.
What Kind of Struggles Do People Report After 5 Years?
Five years after the pandemic began, many couples are now facing the long-term impact of their earlier decisions. If you feel like your marriage is under strain, you’re not alone.
Some of the most common post-pandemic struggles people report include:
- Financial Pressures – Debt from job loss, business closures, or reduced income during the pandemic is still affecting many couples. In California, where housing and living costs are already high, this financial stress can feel overwhelming.
- Uneven Division of Labor – When working from home became the norm, some couples fell into patterns where one partner carried more of the childcare or household responsibilities. Those patterns can be difficult to break, leading to resentment and conflict even years later. Conversely, a return-to-office (RTO) for either one of you could throw into disarray any household routines you established during WFH.
- Emotional Distance – The stress, isolation, and uncertainty of the pandemic years didn’t just disappear. For some, they’ve left lingering emotional scars. Maybe you and your spouse now cope with challenges in very different ways, and instead of feeling supported like you used to, you feel disconnected from each other.
- Shifts in Priorities – The pandemic caused many people to rethink their careers, values, and life goals. While growth can be positive, it can also mean that your priorities no longer align in the same ways with your spouse’s.
If you recognize any of these issues in your own marriage, it’s important to know that you’re not at fault. These are widespread experiences in response to an unprecedented period of prolonged societal and economic stress, and many couples who married during the pandemic are now navigating similar challenges. The key now is understanding your options – whether that means finding ways to strengthen your marriage or seeking legal support to protect yourself if separation becomes part of the conversation.
The Effect of Outside Stress on a Marriage
Even the strongest marriages can be tested when outside stress enters the picture. For many couples who married during the pandemic, that stress often came early and never fully disappeared. You may still be carrying the weight of those years – financial setbacks, health concerns, job changes, or even the loss of loved ones. Over time, that constant pressure can seep into your marriage in ways you might not have anticipated.
Maybe you notice more frequent arguments over small issues, or you and your spouse seem less patient with one another. Perhaps the exhaustion from work, childcare, or caring for aging parents leaves little energy to nurture your relationship. In California, where the cost of living and work demands can already be intense, these added layers of stress can feel overwhelming.
It’s important to recognize that these struggles don’t mean you’ve failed. They reflect the extraordinary circumstances you’ve endured. Outside stress can show up in marriage as:
- Tension over finances or career paths
- Conflicts about time spent with extended family
- Disagreements about parenting or lifestyle choices
- Reduced patience and increased irritability
- Arguments about small or unrelated issues
- Emotional withdrawal or breakdowns in communication
- Uneven expectations that come with cycles of blame
- Declining intimacy and loss of shared joy
- Feeling like “roommates” rather than partners
- Feelings of emotional distance or loneliness despite being married
Acknowledging how external factors influence your relationship is an essential step. From there, you can make informed decisions about whether to seek counseling, mediation, or – if necessary – legal guidance to protect your future.
SBA Loans and the Pandemic’s Impact on Small Businesses
When the pandemic struck, countless small business owners across California faced closures, unpredictable revenue, and the need for immediate financial relief. Many couples – especially those who married during or shortly before 2020 – took out Small Business Administration (SBA) loans or Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans to stay afloat.
Now, those financial decisions are often front and center in divorce proceedings. SBA and pandemic-related loans can significantly affect business valuation and the division of marital assets and debts if you and your spouse decide to separate.
How SBA and Pandemic Loans Can Affect Your Divorce
When you or your spouse own a small business, the business itself is typically treated as property during divorce. In California – a community property state – that means business assets and liabilities accumulated during a marriage usually belong to both spouses.
Here’s where pandemic-related loans come into play:
- Debt Allocation – SBA loans and PPP funds obtained during marriage may be considered shared debt, even if only one spouse applied for the loan.
- Business Valuation Challenges – COVID caused dramatic swings in business income. Determining a company’s “true” value now often requires reviewing financial statements before, during, and after the pandemic, loan forgiveness documentation (for PPP loans), and any government aid or grants that could impact profitability.
- Tracing Separate vs. Community Property – If a spouse owned a business before marriage but took out pandemic relief loans during the marriage, lawyers and forensic accountants may need to trace funds to separate what’s actually marital property.
- Tax and Forgiveness Implications – Some SBA loans were partially forgiven or deferred, but forgiveness can have tax consequences that affect settlement negotiations.
If you or your spouse own a business affected by pandemic relief programs, you can take proactive steps to consider the impact of these financial decisions on your divorce.
- Gather all records of PPP, EIDL, and other SBA loans, including application materials, repayment records, and forgiveness notices.
- Obtain a current and accurate business valuation from a financial professional familiar with post-pandemic market fluctuations.
- Work with your legal team to ensure that all debts and equity are taken into account and divided properly, keeping tax implications in mind.
Remember, divorce is not just about dividing your assets and debts. It’s about protecting your financial independence and stability after years of shared investment and effort.
Lingering Health Issues and Long COVID
The physical and emotional aftereffects of COVID-19 are still very real for many Californians. Some individuals continue to experience long COVID symptoms such as chronic fatigue, brain fog, or respiratory issues that impact their ability to work and maintain the same level of income as before their illness. These health realities can have long-term effects on child support, spousal support, and healthcare arrangements after divorce.
California courts consider each spouse’s age, health and medical needs, ability to work, and earning capacity when determining spousal support and child support orders. Long COVID can:
- Reduce a person’s earning capacity and/or ability to work full-time or in their previous field.
- Increase ongoing medical expenses, from regular treatment to prescription costs.
- Require flexible work or caregiving arrangements that affect childcare responsibilities.
These new life circumstances may justify making adjustments to spousal support or child support agreements to ensure financial stability for both parties.
For couples facing serious health concerns, legal separation can sometimes be a better option than immediate divorce. It allows you to remain legally married – which means that one spouse can continue providing health insurance coverage through their employer – while still establishing clear financial and custodial boundaries.
During this process, California’s Automatic Temporary Restraining Orders (ATROs) automatically go into effect once a divorce or separation petition is filed. ATROs prevent either spouse from canceling or altering their health insurance coverage, transferring or concealing assets, and changing beneficiaries without notice. This legal framework ensures that both parties remain protected while they determine how to move forward.
Dealing with chronic illness or long COVID adds layers of stress to any marriage. When one spouse becomes a caregiver, it can shift the balance of power and emotional connection within the relationship. Recognizing this – and creating legal arrangements that support both the well-being of both partners – is a critical step in moving forward with compassion and fairness.
Custody Decisions and Academic Delays in Children
Children and young adults who spent their formative years learning remotely during the pandemic are still experiencing the ripple effects today. Many parents report concerns about academic delays, social development, and emotional regulation. When these challenges surface during custody discussions, they can significantly shape decisions about schooling, parenting time, and educational support. Common issues include:
- Academic Gaps – Missed foundational skills in reading, math, and writing.
- Social and Emotional Adjustment – Difficulty interacting with peers or managing intense feelings such as frustration, sadness, or anger.
- Screen Fatigue – Trouble focusing on in-person instruction after years online.
- Behavioral Changes – Anxiety, depression, or defiance linked to disrupted routines.
These issues can lead to disagreements between parents about how best to support their children – especially when one parent favors changing schools, seeking tutoring, or pursuing special education resources and the other parent is not on the same page.
In California, both parents typically share legal custody, meaning they jointly decide on major issues such as education, healthcare, and living situations. When parents disagree about schooling, the court focuses on the best interests of the child, considering:
- Your child’s current academic performance,
- Access to appropriate educational or support services,
- Each parent’s willingness to prioritize your child’s learning needs, and
- Stability and consistency in your child’s routine.
If one parent believes the child would benefit from a different school, special education assessment, or tutoring arrangement, they may need to request a custody modification.
Constructive Ways to Address Educational Challenges
Even when tensions run high, collaboration often produces the best results for children. If you and your co-parent come to the negotiation table in good faith, you can consider:
- Parenting coordination or mediation to reach agreements without court intervention.
- Educational evaluations to identify learning needs and guide your decision-making.
- Therapeutic support to help children adjust socially and emotionally.
- Clear communication plans that outline how each parent will share updates about their child’s school performance, teacher meetings, or progress reports.
Children thrive when their parents can put their differences aside and work together to create stability. With compassionate legal support, you can navigate educational disagreements while ensuring your child’s needs remain at the center of every decision.
How Legal Support Can Help in a Post-Pandemic World
If you’re considering separation, divorce, or you simply want to understand your rights, legal support can provide clarity and peace of mind. The reality is that the choices you make now can have long-term consequences for your finances, your family, and your future. You can be proactive with strategic and thoughtful steps to protect yourself.
California has specific laws around community property, spousal support, and child custody that can feel overwhelming to navigate on your own.
For example, if you and your spouse bought a home together during the pandemic, questions about ownership and division of that property will require careful legal consideration. Similarly, if one of you sacrificed career growth for childcare during remote work, spousal support could play a role if the marriage ends.
Seeking legal guidance from an experienced family law attorney doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that divorce is inevitable. It means you’re taking proactive steps to understand all of your options and protect yourself. With the right legal support, you can:
- Gain clarity on your rights and obligations under California law
- Understand how property, debts, and assets would be divided
- Get feedback from additional experts who specialize in family law issues
- Explore custody and parenting arrangements that work for your family
- Receive guidance on mediation or negotiation before turning to litigation
- Take steps to secure your financial and emotional well-being
Our firm has helped many individuals across California navigate pandemic-era marriages. We know how challenging these decisions can feel, and we’re here to guide you with determination and compassion knowing what you’ve gone through. Whether your goal is to strengthen your marriage or move forward separately, having knowledgeable legal support ensures that your future is built on a foundation of clarity and financial stability. Contact us now to get started.
Common Questions:
1. Why are so many pandemic marriages facing challenges now?
Couples who married during the pandemic often faced intense external pressures — financial uncertainty, job loss, isolation, and blurred home–work boundaries. These stresses accelerated relationship dynamics, and now, years later, the long-term effects of those early challenges are surfacing in many marriages.
2. How is a “pandemic marriage” different from a typical marriage?
Pandemic marriages often began under lockdown, with couples spending nearly all their time together and making major financial or housing decisions early. These unique circumstances — from shared debt to rushed cohabitation — created lasting emotional and financial implications that many couples are now reckoning with.
3. What are the most common struggles couples face five years after the pandemic?
Many couples report financial strain, uneven household responsibilities, emotional distance, and shifts in priorities or values. The combination of rising living costs and lingering debt in California has made it harder for some marriages to recover from pandemic-era stress.
4. Can financial stress lead to divorce in California?
Yes. Financial disagreements are one of the most common contributors to marital breakdown. If you and your spouse argue frequently about debt, savings, or income differences, it can create ongoing tension. A family law attorney can help you explore legal and financial protections if separation becomes a consideration.
5. How can outside stress affect my marriage?
External pressures — such as work demands, childcare, health issues, or financial instability — can strain communication and reduce intimacy. When left unresolved, these stressors may turn small disagreements into ongoing conflict, affecting emotional connection and long-term stability.
6. What should I do if my spouse and I argue about money all the time?
Start by communicating openly and, if possible, seek financial counseling or mediation. If the disagreements are tied to deeper issues like debt, joint property, or financial control, it may be wise to consult a California family law attorney to understand your options and protect your interests.
