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It is nearly impossible to go a week without a story popping up about a celebrity divorce. The internet and TMZ engage in endless speculation about the potential demise of a famous couple’s marriage, treating every candid (or not so candid) photograph of the pair as a clue. It is for this reason that famous and wealthy couples have started pursuing “quiet” divorces, where the details of their lives are not available to anyone who knows how to search public records. Anyone can see the details of your divorce when you file in the public courts and the documents are not under seal (which has its own standard to achieve).
Take Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck (a.k.a. “Bennifer”). Devoid of any real proof that their marriage is over other than circumstantial evidence, the media is filling in the blanks with clues in the form of photographs, information about their house listing, and even the status of Ben’s relationship with his ex-wife. Noticeably absent from the Instagram feeds, however, is confirmation that the parties have filed for divorce (because, if there was a public filing, TMZ would find it). This may be very intentional and could be based on lessons learned from other high-profile divorces.
One such example of a public celebrity divorce with private information splashed all over the media is Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner. The couple had a high-profile divorce and custody battle that started in the public courts in Florida, so the media was able to access the details of the case. Due to the publicity, the pair moved the case to private mediation to hash out the details of a potential international move away and custody and visitation schedule. Even though the Jonas children are too young to read TMZ (at least for now), the publicity undoubtedly added a layer of complexity and stress during one of that family’s most difficult moments, which may or may not have contributed to the move to private mediation.
Similarly, Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner’s divorce was publicized because details were accessible to the public. All filings can be accessed by anyone, and it is almost certain that Christine Baumgartner did not want the public to know that she declared $100,000 in cosmetic procedures on her Income and Expense Declaration to support her request for $248,000 a month in child and spousal support. This is just another example of a case that could have avoided public scrutiny if the details were kept private. And there is value to privacy even if TMZ is not trolling the dockets looking for filings in your divorce.
By contrast to the Jonases and Costners, there are quiet uncoupling options for the rich and famous that utilize the same tools that you can in your own divorce. Take the example of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen whose divorce was relatively quiet. For months there was media speculation about the status of their relationship, but no real information was available until the parties announced that they had finalized their divorce. The family was shielded from the media scrutiny of ongoing litigation in the public eye and it was quiet, private, and efficient.
It is clear that the rich and famous have figured out a way to prevent the public from learning the salacious details of the demise of their marriage, shielding themselves and their children in the process. The good news is that “quiet” divorces are not just for the rich and famous. In fact, as an added bonus, these alternatives to litigation happen to be far more cost-effective and efficient. So, here are some frequently used options that our firm employs to avoid the publicity and acrimony of litigation:
- Private Judge: The parties can stipulate to hire a Private Judge, which offers an alternative to public court. Private judges are usually retired judges or experienced attorneys that allow parties to do all the things they are entitled to in the public court system– including filing motions, having hearings, etc.– but the process is far more expeditious and efficient without being subject to the public court system’s backlogged docket. Private judges can set hearings at the parties’ convenience and allow for more timely resolution. Private judges can also have a less strict and formal feel to their offices, which is a welcomed alternative to the intimidating and stressful environment of a courthouse. Private judges can also be more flexible and help parties reach creative alternatives that they would not have time to contemplate if there are 10 other cases on their docket to be heard that same morning.
- Mediation: The parties can mediate their divorce, which is a form of alternative dispute resolution where a neutral person helps the parties negotiate their settlement by focusing on the parties’ underlying interests. There are various formats for mediation, including attorney-assisted (but without attorneys present in the mediation room), attorney-assisted and present in the mediation room, expert-involved mediation, and the like. The mediation is confidential, offering ultimate privacy for the parties and their families, and tends to be less adversarial than the litigation process.
- Cooperative Divorce: Cooperative divorce is another format offered by Moradi Saslaw, LLP where the attorney acts in a limited scope capacity on behalf of a party, including filing documents in court, preparing financial disclosures, negotiating a settlement with the other party’s attorney, and drafting the final Judgment and Marital Settlement Agreement. The goal is to resolve the matter amicably and expeditiously outside of the courtroom, but the attorney is not disqualified from representation in the event that the parties do not succeed in reaching settlement.
Christine M. Harney and Meghan Herning are attorneys with Moradi Saslaw, LLP with extensive experience guiding clients through amicable and “quiet” divorces that minimize the stress and uncertainty that comes with divorce. Call us for a consultation to find out which one of these options will help you achieve the quiet and efficient divorce that works best for your family.
